The idea of "having his children in subjection"...
Posted by
Pastor Coon
Labels:
Divorce Issues,
From My Notebook
As I continue this thought (or is it a rant) about the contemporary idea that we have received "new revelations" about the requirements for pastors and deacons. But as I read my Bible I find that in both English and Greek it is pretty clear as to the prerequisites for these important church offices...no I mean church leaders.
“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife ... One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)” (1 Timothy 3:2, 4, 5).
“If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly” (Titus 1:6).
“Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:3).
In a previous posting I shared briefly about the different interpretations (or rather misinterpretations) of the word "one" as it was used to say that a man need only to have been the husband of a single woman (or of a "single eye") so that a divorced man could still pastor or fill the role as a deacon, but this is not how the greek words differienate on the word "one". [note - read that post for more info.]
In this posting, I want to take a slightly different approach and one of a more practical matter rather than a philosophical or spiritual matter. I want to focus in on the children of the pastor or deacon. I was surprised that throughout the Jewish Temple history and into our church history there was an expectation for the priest or pastor to be married and/or have children because this allowed him to relate to his audience and allowed him to apply the whole truth of God's Word. Ok this makes sense to me and yes I would like a church leader who can relate to my life, so that he may teach the Word so that I may learn to apply this teaching to my life. Of course I don't expect my pastor or deacon to have faced every trail or sin but to know that he has walked in similiar shoes helps in regards to building my trust in him and his preaching as well as the ability to relate the Scriptures to my everyday life. Now a divorced man weakens the message when he has to make interpretations or excuses that are contrary to past centuries of church, history, Bible beliefs, and traditional practices as well as introduces a misrepresentation of God's Word.
After saying all of this as an introduction, my main point is that a divorced pastor or deacon has real issues with ruling his household and having his children in proper subjection, according to the Scriptural guidelines. It is a sad fact of divorced life, but nearly all divorced men have an abnormal relationship with their step-children. Having served for over 17 years in our nation's military, I have seen the experiences of many broken marriages and the attempts at remarriage that can never amend the family unit no matter how much love or good intent is involved. A man that has remarried can never establish the same authoriative relationship with the children from another man (this is the same for a woman, but has less of an impact since the husband is to be the God directed authority in the home). I have heard a child call their step-parent (father or mother) anything other than Mom or Dad...especially considering that most still have relationships with their other biological parent. Now I know that I am painting with a thick brush and that there are exceptions to this but I ask you to think about every divorced relationship you are familiar with and honestly answer to how the relationship is between the father and the children. I already covered my military experience but let me say that I have seen the same things in the seven years of working as a Youth Pastor. In this experience not one child has ever had a proper biblical father-child relationship that one would describe as the ideal relationship for a pastor or deacon towards their children. I have personally seen that this abnormal relationship extends into the adult world as well and that maturity doesn't neccessarily make it better or easier. Now translate this father and step-child relationship that is a constant struggle in a normal setting and compound it with the pressure and expectations of being a church leaders' family. This is a continuous conflict and a terrible testimony for a man trying to lead a church body and a blight on the office of pastor and deacon.
So add these ideas that "being the husband of one wife" and "having his children under subjection" are two very real and very simple elements of the prerequitises to being a pastor and deacon. For us to excuse or overlook these elements is ignorant at best and heresy at worse. Believe the Bible more than man's opinion and develop the practice of studying it for yourself.
Want more information about this issue? Follow this link
“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife ... One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)” (1 Timothy 3:2, 4, 5).
“If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly” (Titus 1:6).
“Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:3).
In a previous posting I shared briefly about the different interpretations (or rather misinterpretations) of the word "one" as it was used to say that a man need only to have been the husband of a single woman (or of a "single eye") so that a divorced man could still pastor or fill the role as a deacon, but this is not how the greek words differienate on the word "one". [note - read that post for more info.]
In this posting, I want to take a slightly different approach and one of a more practical matter rather than a philosophical or spiritual matter. I want to focus in on the children of the pastor or deacon. I was surprised that throughout the Jewish Temple history and into our church history there was an expectation for the priest or pastor to be married and/or have children because this allowed him to relate to his audience and allowed him to apply the whole truth of God's Word. Ok this makes sense to me and yes I would like a church leader who can relate to my life, so that he may teach the Word so that I may learn to apply this teaching to my life. Of course I don't expect my pastor or deacon to have faced every trail or sin but to know that he has walked in similiar shoes helps in regards to building my trust in him and his preaching as well as the ability to relate the Scriptures to my everyday life. Now a divorced man weakens the message when he has to make interpretations or excuses that are contrary to past centuries of church, history, Bible beliefs, and traditional practices as well as introduces a misrepresentation of God's Word.
After saying all of this as an introduction, my main point is that a divorced pastor or deacon has real issues with ruling his household and having his children in proper subjection, according to the Scriptural guidelines. It is a sad fact of divorced life, but nearly all divorced men have an abnormal relationship with their step-children. Having served for over 17 years in our nation's military, I have seen the experiences of many broken marriages and the attempts at remarriage that can never amend the family unit no matter how much love or good intent is involved. A man that has remarried can never establish the same authoriative relationship with the children from another man (this is the same for a woman, but has less of an impact since the husband is to be the God directed authority in the home). I have heard a child call their step-parent (father or mother) anything other than Mom or Dad...especially considering that most still have relationships with their other biological parent. Now I know that I am painting with a thick brush and that there are exceptions to this but I ask you to think about every divorced relationship you are familiar with and honestly answer to how the relationship is between the father and the children. I already covered my military experience but let me say that I have seen the same things in the seven years of working as a Youth Pastor. In this experience not one child has ever had a proper biblical father-child relationship that one would describe as the ideal relationship for a pastor or deacon towards their children. I have personally seen that this abnormal relationship extends into the adult world as well and that maturity doesn't neccessarily make it better or easier. Now translate this father and step-child relationship that is a constant struggle in a normal setting and compound it with the pressure and expectations of being a church leaders' family. This is a continuous conflict and a terrible testimony for a man trying to lead a church body and a blight on the office of pastor and deacon.
So add these ideas that "being the husband of one wife" and "having his children under subjection" are two very real and very simple elements of the prerequitises to being a pastor and deacon. For us to excuse or overlook these elements is ignorant at best and heresy at worse. Believe the Bible more than man's opinion and develop the practice of studying it for yourself.
Want more information about this issue? Follow this link
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